Matt and I decided that so many funny things have happened over the past 9 months (yes, count them, I am officially 9 months pregnant, 10 days til due date!) that we wanted to share them on here. We decided to write them together, so we don't forget all of the funny (and sometimes not funny then, but funny NOW) things we went through!
First Trimester
Before we "knew", taking a cheapo pregnancy test (we saved all the "good" ones for when we were really wondering) and standing in the kitchen for like an hour debating whether or not we were actually seeing the faint blue line or if we were imagining it...then going to bed.
The next day after Matt left for work, I (Bre) took the "good" expensive tests (the digital ones) and got two very clear PREGNANT's on them, then proceeded to take about 6 more regular pregnancy tests. Remember women, there is NO such thing as a false positive. I could have stopped at one! -Bre
How did I find out? (This is Matt)...Well, Bre wrapped up all the little tests in a shoebox and had bought some of my favorite bbq sauce that we never seem to find and put them in there too - made me open it when I got home from work and there were a bunch of sauces and under them was a clear "PREGNANT" test tied up with a bow. I remember saying..."what? Are you serious!!!?". I guess we did see a tiny faint line the night before! -Matt
Oh man, when we totally gave in to the hype of friends and acquaintances and went to Walgreens and bought "Intelligender" the pee-test you take, shake, and look for the color change. Orange means GIRL, green means BOY. Obviously, this was a waste of money :)
Hmm, morning sickness from beginning to 14 weeks, not a great memory, but definitely a funny one at times. Let's just say, I found traveling the metro to work VERY challenging, knew the best (and most hidden) trash cans in metro stations, and found a new use for the dog poo bags we have in our cars and attached to the leashes. The things you learn when life must go on in the first trimester!-Bre
Speaking of morning sickness, we hit 12 weeks (the supposed "end" to when hormones cause the morning sickness), I decided to take bre to a fancy restaurant to celebrate. I ordered steak, some wine, Bre got some chicken (unfortunately, fancy meant that everything Bre wanted was either served partially raw, unpasteurized, etc, which Bre can't have during pregnancy). We were so excited. Some waiter passed us with a plate of salmon and...Bre made a bee-line for the door. I hurried up and doggie bagged Bre's meal, finished my glass of wine, ate some of the steak, and poor Bre made a friend with a trash can in the pouring rain. We realized then that Morning Sickness was not gone at the "magical" 12-week milestone. -Matt
Second Trimester
This is definitely one of my favorite pregnancy moments ever. For our 19 week (anatomy/gender scan) ultrasound, we were so excited to see boy/girl and see how baby B. was doing! The way these ultrasounds work with our insurance co, is that they do the ultrasound with the screen toward the tech, and Dad can stand behind and watch. Once they get all their measurements they need for the radiologist, then they have fun and show mom the screen and look for boy/girl. Well, I listened to Matt tell me about his cute little face and hands, and then this happened:
Matt: I see his teeth!
Bre: What? He is not supposed to have teeth!!?
U/S tech: No, sir, that's his spine, we are looking at the baby's back
Bre: He has teeth on his back!?
(laughter)
It was hysterical. Then we found out it was a boy. It was a great day.
During an appt. around 15 weeks, one of Bre's doctors just wanted to get a peek at our little one and get his heart rate, so we did. I talked to her belly and said to him/her hey there buddy and he literally fist-bumped our way. It looked like it was coming at me, I can't wait to fist-bump him when he's older and tell him the story. -Matt
Feeling the baby kick was pretty funny, well, I should say NOT feeling him. Bre started feeling him at 17 weeks, and then she could feel stronger ones around 22 weeks that I could feel. Yet every time she would say "Matt, come here, feel him!", he would stop. Like automatically. I could see him kick, but as soon as I put my hand there, he would stop. Luckily as he got bigger, I could feel him all the time. He even kicks back as soon as I tap his foot.
Third Trimester
Getting adjusted to the huge tummy and new body is not an easy one. All I wanted to try to do was clean the windowsill low down. I squatted, immediately rolled back on my butt, then my back. I looked like a turtle stuck on my back. Matt and the dogs got a kick out of it though :) -Bre
Realizing I can't tie my shoes anymore. Having to say "Maaattt, can you help me"--pretty embarrassing. -Bre
Dealing with a billion people thinking pregnant tummies are public property. Christmas eve, shopping in Walmart was the worst. Everyone asking me "Christmas baby? Tax break baby? Twins? Will your water break in the store hehehe?"--oh man the list goes on. The funny part is all the answers I was coming up with in my head: "No, It's septuplets, I just got the positive test!, I'm not pregnant, what are you talking about?, Can I touch your belly if you get to rub mine without asking?, oh the list was so long. Just wanted to see what they would say and watch them squirm. :) -Bre
Bre not being able to drive was pretty funny. It was sometime in December when her short legs could no longer reach the pedals in either car, and her belly was too big, it hit the steering wheel way too much. She hates asking for help, but now she has no choice! -Matt
Humphrey and the belly. Mocha knew from day one of the pregnancy, she follows Bre, protects her, and watches her every move. Humphrey had no clue of the fuss. All of a sudden, December hit (around 34 weeks) and he sees the belly and totally gets it. (typical man). He won't leave her belly alone and always has to be sleeping on it, near it, around it. The dogs are so funny with her. -Matt
Oh my gosh, in our childbirth class, having to sit in the front row (always late), conveniently where the instructor sits all the fake-but-real-looking babies sitting up on the table. The two of us could not stop looking at this one baby who seemed to be STARING at us, finally, eventually, the lactation consultant moved him. It was like the chuckie doll to us - and we could not stop laughing, we felt like we were back in middle school.
Also, during "breathing practice" in class, they sat us in between two rather "fragrant" couples (not the kind of smelly that is ok to be around, this was awful) The teacher kept telling me to breathe deep through my nose and I just couldn't. I did my best to simultaneously pretend to breathe and not crack up with Matt giggling behind me. Needless to say, we practiced breathing at home instead. -Bre
Last, but not least, I think that right now (almost 39 weeks), we are just laughing at all the stuff we are trying (proven and definitely silly wives tales) trying to get Colby out! No jumping jacks, though, I don't think I can even jump at this point haha. -Bre
Hope these made you laugh. This has been such a joyful pregnancy, we certainly have had our share of laughs among all the awkward changes that happen!
-Bre and Matt
